Yard Sales Aren’t for Sissies

Whenever I go to my grandma’s, we always have a great time. One adventure that’s sure to please is looking for yard sales on an afternoon drive. Sometimes we even have our own yard sale. You can find such cool junk stuff for your whole family! Here are some things you should know if you’re going to haggle your way to a $1 portrait of Vladmir Putin made entirely of swedish fish.

  1. Look out for bottles and cans littering the road. Grandma always keeps this reachy mcgrabber extendo thing in her car, so she can just pull over and I grab the cans up! At five cents per can, you can fill up your yard sale coin purse before you even hit the sales. I think I’m the only one who still lets my grandma pick up trash from the side of the road. When my uncle rides with her, he smacks a quarter on her dashboard for the next five cans they see before she can even get excited.
  2. Don’t get too excited. Whenever we first pull up to somebody’s house, my palms get a little sweaty and I get really giddy. But grandma is not joking around. You see, you can’t look like you actually want to buy anything. It’s just like getting a boyfriend, or walking past one of those kiosks in the mall with the creepy man with the lotion trying to feel up your hands. So approach the merch slowly, and don’t open your eyes too wide. 
  3. Haggle until you dazzle. My grandma has perfected this trick. Step 1: Ask what they would like for the item. Step 2: Say “I don’t think so”, as you slowly lower the item back down to the table. Step 3: Stare at them until they offer you a lower price. Try reminding them that you can take it off their hands, or they can put it back in their house so you’re actually the one doing them the favour.
  4. Rifle through boxes, plug in electronics, and look over anything you’re going to buy to assure some measure of quality. At a yard sale last weekend, I saw a nice copy of Wuthering Heights, and began flipping through the pages to make sure they weren’t written on or ripped up. It was in great condition, and an envelope popped out of the middle of the book into my hands. It was a Christmas envelope with an old $20 bill inside. This brings me to my final tip…
  5. Be kind. I walked over to the lady running the yard sale, and told her that I thought she should know that there was money in her book before she sold it. As I handed her the $20, tears started streaming down her face, and she hugged me tightly. I was so surprised that it mattered so much to her. She let me take the book home for free, too! My grandma has taught me a lot on our shopping trips, but the most important thing is to be kind. You never know why someone is having a yard sale in the first place. So maybe don’t haggle until you dazzle unless you really think things are overpriced.

Tell me about your great yard sale finds! 

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4 thoughts on “Yard Sales Aren’t for Sissies

  1. Just love this Hannah:) Much good advice here. Had to giggle when reading about your Uncle putting the quarter on Grandma’s Dashboard:) Great read.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m like Chris Farly in Tommy Boy when he is talking about getting excited about the bread. I always show too much when I see something I like. I even showed that I wanted a Star Wars thing at Goodwill last night and attracted another guy to it and almost lost out because I was too excited. Thanks for letting me know that I should act cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t get your reference, so I’m going to have to look that up! Oh man I’ve done that at the thrift store before with a pair of lavender pants. The lady next to me was so excited when I pulled them off the rack, I had to let her have them.

      Like

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