Even I, a girl, can admit that we are mysterious creatures. Sometimes we don’t even know why we do the things we do. Here’s some of those odd things pointed out for you to relate to and revel in the glorious enigma of being female.
1. Imagine their future with random people they barely know. One second you’re sitting in a circle in Intro to Poetry making awkward eye contact with the cutie across from you, and the next you are hearing wedding bells, naming your three kids, and smiling down at your textbook as you imagine cooking dinner together. This probably isn’t healthy, but it happens.
2. They make you smell stuff. Her hair, a new bottle of perfume, a gum wrapper. You know it will always be a good smell. We only do it so that you can experience the blissful euphoria we had when we picked up that pack of scented garbage bags.
3. They randomly stop contacting potential persons of interest in all forms including Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, texting, Trivia Crack (as long as they have someone else to play against), and oh yeah, in person that’s still a thing. This is crucial to any “talking” relationship. You know? The ones where you aren’t “together” but you aren’t not “together” either. We do it to see if you’ll contact us first. It’s a way of testing the waters, to see if we have a chance with you. We can’t dare to be the one pursuing you. See? I told you we’re confusing.
4. Contort their bodies for a selfie. You know what I’m talking about. HUGE eyes and a back and head bent over so far you think she might have a hernia. Apparently potential mates find this attractive. Personally, I would like to get you a back brace from the local hospital and call it good.
5. Sometimes they carry a hot Starbucks cup of deliciousness in the winter so they aren’t cold. Desperate times call for desperate measures, man. Leggings are not as warm as they look, but we don’t want that to stop us from wearing them! So we improvise. Also, carrying a coffee cup in one hand and an iPhone in the other makes us feel more adult for some reason.
6. They’re obsessed with cities they’ve never been to or barely stepped foot into. It doesn’t matter that she was only in France for four days for a school field trip; her college essay will most likely be on how Paris is her favorite place in the world. It makes her sound more cultured, even if she was staring at her phone the whole time taking pictures for Instagram.
7. They get dressed up with no place to go. On the extreme occasion that she has a night completely free, a girl will probably spend hours trying something new with her hair, doing her makeup the best she ever has done, and maybe even putting on an outfit that she feels super confident in. I don’t know why this is so fun, but it is. Even if you’re alone listening to sad pandora, it’s very therapeutic to just look nice for yourself and no one else in the world.
8. Getting stuff on sale just because they can. I’ll admit it. I’m a member of couponmom.com. One time, I got two packages of cotton candy frosting flavoring packets for FREE. There’s nothing as great as getting a good bargain. I think those packets are still in the cupboard somewhere. *oops*
9. They social media stalk anyone that their friends talk about. “I’m really into this guy, Jack who I met in my Poli Sci class! I mean I really think we have a lot in common and…” “What’s his last name?” you demand as you type furiously into the Facebook search bar.
10. Make a “Wedding” Pinterest board. Some girls feel less guilty by labeling their board “The Special Day” or “I can dream, can’t I?”. I prefer to be subtle and just ‘like’ any wedding ideas I come across. I don’t think it’s wrong to think about marriage, but gurl, remember there’s going to be a groom. He has an opinion too.