For the love of carbs, Craig. I see the empty arrow. You OPENED my snapchat and your phone is obvs on you and not dead. Idk why you aren’t texting me back but our relationship is getting srsly ridic.
1. Selfie with a bunch of friends – Probably all sitting close on a couch or at a restaurant. What this usually means is: I’m having lots of fun without you, lots of fun, lots of it. It could also mean: oh hey I’m actually in the presence of human beings today so I’d better document it before I go home and chill with my cat again.
Speaking of cats…
2. Selfie with my pet! Look at me with my distinctly unenthusiastic cat, dog, parakeet, etc. Love you, Pookiebuns!
3. A black screen with a poorly drawn stick-figure. I’m lying in bed and it’s totally dark, but I still wanna talk to you!
4. A pic of whatever I’m watching on Netflix. I’m doing absolutely nothing today, but maybe if I show everyone else I’ll feel better about it.
5. A really nice looking selfie. Possibly including the duckface. My outfit is on point today, and I’m looking super good so I want someone to see it. I’m gonna add it to my story to pretend it’s just a selfie for everyone, but I will check to see who’s seen it because that one guy is the only one who matters and this is the only discreet way I can send him a good looking pic of myself ok don’t judge why is life so hard NOTICE ME BENSON.
6. Gym Selfieee. Sending you this blurry picture of my underdeveloped muscles proves that I was at the gym. Finding the perfect angle made me sweat a little bit, so it counts as part of the workout.
7. Random person sleeping. Ahh, this one never gets old.
8. The artsy photographer snap. I added a few stacked filters ’cause my backyard doesn’t actually look that good. Do you like that I took the time to put the quote in the perfect size and position?
9. A selfie in the car. No need to look at the road, I’m on a roadtrip obliterating my respect for other drivers and the law! or I’m waiting for my dad to use the bathroom in the gas station mini mart.
10. The quote bar across the middle of my face. I’m hiding my double chin. Nothing to see here.